cue mommy guilt

It's that time of year again. Kids are going back to school, and so am I. After a most wonderful, fulfilling, and very productive 7 months, I get to go back to work. I wish I could tell you that it's bitter sweet, but it's not.

I will always remember these months as a very special time with Lucas, when I could experience all of his awesome hearing and language firsts and during which we did many activities that otherwise wouldn't have been possible had I been working. He went from no hearing, to hearing beeps and buzzes, to us having to spell words in his presence. It has been SIMPLY AMAZING! It was the greatest decision and sacrifice we could have made. I would not trade in the extra time with him for anything in the world!

Now what am I going to do? I'll be honest and say that I'm NOT okay with it. It's extremely daunting to think about doing what I'm doing now with so much less time. It kind of makes me sick.

But, I still have a lot to be thankful for, so here goes.

* I'm thankful to my school district for granting me this much needed leave.
* I'm thankful for a wonderful, secure job, where I get to teach German and Spanish all day!
* I'm thankful that Lucas will be watched by both of his grandmothers while I'm at school.
* I'm thankful that Lucas can still be in his own home 3 of those days.
* I'm thankful that I only work 6 blocks from where we live.
* I'm thankful that we work with 2 flexible therapists who are willing and able to come after 3:00 to work with me.
* I'm thankful that I'm done with school mid-afternoon and have the rest of the afternoon and evening to spend with him.
* I'm thankful for the school year calendar that provides for some much needed breaks and extra time with Lucas.

Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers as we make a lot of adjustments over the next few weeks - that Lucas would continue to thrive and adjust well to not having me around all the time, and that there would not be any backlashes to his change in schedule and surroundings. He thrives on routine, and his world is about to be inconsistent.

Life is going to be tough for awhile.