Today, we cleaned the Peshastin house. I took the time to scrub the counters with a sponge and soap instead of my shirt sleeve while Max swept. Hell, he even moved the furniture. After such hard work, we deserved some well earned sustenance. Max blended a creamy peach and banana smoothie complete with a healthy dose of Trader Darwin’s Whey Protein. This vanilla powder contains 16 grams of protein, 130 IU of Vitamin D, and 80 mg of calcium from the whey protein extract. Tired of all the jokes about how he jumared the Compressor Route on Cerro Torre, and got dragged to the summit of a first ascent on Fitz Roy, Maxwell is bulking up, moving from his current bantam weight class to one where he will not be considered so light duty. Good luck Max! After he finished his bulk fest, I used Max’s Cuisin Art to mix a batch of garlic hummus, which turned out quite well. Now, let me tell you something; I can blend. It’s a delicate art, this whole chopping and grinding business. Here are a few things I have learned over my years behind a blender.
1. Do not toss your ingredients in half-hazardly. Oh no! Formulate a game plan, starting with the items which will be hardest to chop and adding to this base ingredient.
2. I once mistook peanut butter for tahini. Make sure to read the labels on all ingredients or your hummus may have a strange hint of Skippy.
3. The proper way to run a food processor is to add ingredient, close lid, and then blend, puree, or chop. Do not run the processor with the top off for two very good reasons.
3.a There could be splatter. I spent half an hour wiping garbanzo beans off my kitchen walls.
3.b The opportunity to put in some foreign object into the blender is way too great when the cover is off. My favorite wood spoon lost half of its curve and there is always a chance a finger could fall in. Neither splinters nor blood add a pleasant taste to hummus.