I Am A Real Housewife Of Orange County

I live in Orange County so I come in contact with the type of women on the television show, The Real Housewives of Orange County on almost a daily basis. It's usually when they are perched behind the wheel of their fresh off the assembly line Mercedes Benz.

These women are wealthy beyond belief, flashy, live in excess, completely phony, constantly in search of companionship and are terrible drivers!

10 reasons why I could not be a real housewife from any county:

1. I don't believe in plastic surgery. I've earned the wrinkles around my eyes, thankyouverymuch. Oh, and while we're on the subject of plastic surgery, they're real and they're spectacular.

2. I can't walk in stilettos to save my life. If I could, they'd probably lead me to a horrific death down a flight of stairs.

3. I don't know any rock stars or pro baseball players, nor do I particularly care to. Okay, well, maybe I'd like to meet Dave Matthews ...swoon...

4. I'm not a fake blond with god-awful roots. With all that money, you'd think they'd be able to keep those covered up.

5. I don't have a designer handbag for every day of the week.

6. I truly enjoy shopping at Target.

7. I fly coach and usually accompanied by a toddler on my lap. Good times.

8. My SVU is really a glorified car. And it's a hybrid because I care about the environment not just because it's trendy.

9. I have a farmer's tan instead of a golden brown hue evenly covering my entire body.

10. I don't decorate my child. Lucas has never had hair products in his hair nor does he wear designer clothes. My husband would shoot me first!

Come to think of it, these are probably all the reasons why I'll never be friends with Gwyneth Paltrow
either. At least I'm not the only one!


I live in Orange County and I'm a housewife, so I hues that makes me a *real* housewife of Orange County. BUT, I'm the flip flop and yoga pants wearing, rolling around in the park with my son, play date scheduling, three days of unwashed hair-type instead of the television variety.

This post was written for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, Prompt 5.) 10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.

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