Hot Stuff

I thought I was hot stuff the minute I earned my first pay check.

I spent half a summer telemarketing and I hated every second of it, but the pay check at the end of each week was awesome. It made me believe that I didn't need anyone or anything to make it in the world. School schmool. As long as I could make money, I would be alright. At 17, that's what I thought it was all about.

The problem was I actually enjoyed school and I believed what my parents were telling me: I could make a lot more money if I had an education. Win-win!

I thought I was hot stuff the moment I graduated from high school.

I thought the friends I had then, I'd be friends with forever. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life and was completely full of myself. In reality, I didn't have a clue in my head who I was or what my place in the world would be.

Luckily there was college... the epitome of hot suff!

I partied my ass off, attended class most days (as long as they didn't interfere with my soaps), changed my major four times, held a part time job and thought I was learning everything I'd ever need to know about the world around me.

Now that I had a degree under my belt, I quickly found out I was more lost than ever.

No longer having school to fall back on, it was time to get a real job... a career.

I accepted the first $22,000/year job offered to me and felt very much like an adult. I was making decisions left and right about my life; how to spend my time, money and energy, I was paying rent and choosing where to shop, vacation and whether to call it a night or have another drink, knowing full well that I'd be hung over in the morning as I sat in a mandatory meeting.

But by golly, finally I was an adult!

Or so I thought.

I gained years, perspective and experience, but it wasn't until almost 12 years later, when I had my son that I truly felt like a grown up.

It wasn't until I was responsible for another person's health, safety, well being and comfort, that I felt grown up.

It wasn't until I loved to my heart's fullest capacity that I grew up.

I can go from zero to irate in less than 38 seconds so while I may still be working on my maturity level, I am definitely a grown up now and my son thinks I'm hot stuff!

This post was written for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, Prompt 1.) The moment I realized I was a grown up, inspired by...(drum roll, please) yours truly! Thanks, Kat. :)

post signature