In The Nick Of Time

Even after 15 months, I feel as though I am STILL struggling with motherhood and I wonder how long it will take until I'm completely comfortable with my (not so) new role.

Some days, I just don't want to do it.

Motherhood is NOT for the weak. It's exhausting, frustrating, irritating, annoying and aggravating.

Between the messes, tantrums, not being able to fully communicate with one another and the unpredictable schedule,
some days I don't know how I am going to make it through and this is just the beginning.

I have plenty of help and support from my husband, family and friends, but I am fighting demons and being pushed and pulled in ways I never thought I could or would be.

I am the least patient person I know and parenthood is ALL about patience. It's also about sacrifice. I don't know really know how to explain it, other than to say: I'm selfish.
I'm selfish with my time, my space, my energy and when you become a mom, there really is no room for selfishness. None.

I was raised as an only child until I was almost 12 years old and even then, once my little sister arrived we were at such different phases of our lives, that I might as well still been an only child.

I was used to getting my way, being heard, being in control and having everything "just so". All that goes right out the window when you have a child. It's no longer all about me.

I became a mother just in the nick of time. It was time for something really big to shake me up, wake me up and take me so far out of my comfort zone that I'd feel alive with emotion. Motherhood has turned my world upside down and leaves me asking for more. Motherhood has been the single best thing that has ever happened to me. I have never loved anything or anyone more in my life and as much as I fight it, I welcome the challenges and internal turmoil that it has brought my life. Now, if I could just learn to accept it.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. - Lao Tzu

The best is yet to be.

This post is for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop - Prompt #2 Tell us about a day you were sure you wouldn't get through.