friday night a packed up andrey and luc hitched a ride out of town for their first dad-plus-big-boy campout.
i was nervous.
lucas was not.
i’m sure that he had called andrey at work at least a million times that day to see if he was on his way home yet.
once those two were safely out the door with lot’s of s’more supplies, mini-gavin and i set off on our own adventures.
we visited with friends, snuck in a late night drive-thru ice cream cone and snuggled in on the couch.
he loved it. 
he was:
happy
smiley
giggly
chatty
rare form for this don’t-mess-with-me dude.
i had envisioned gavin tucked sweetly in bed, a quiet house to myself. a list of creative projects i’d been hoping to start and hours of me time to finish them.
he did fall fast asleep… only i was holding him in my arms.
and i couldn’t put him down.
i was sure that once morning came, our camp-smelly big boys would return, crazy life would continue and gavin would slip back into baby brother survival mode.
…and four short months from now he’ll make the switch from baby brother to middle child.
so i held him longer.
i cuddled him.
studied him.
sang to him.
made wishes for him.
and fell asleep wondering of him…