i realize i'm not the first woman in the history of mankind to do this. to add another baby to the mix. and some women even decide to do this again. and again. and again. so far it feels like it's been one big long day of twenty eight days jumbled together. and somewhere in the big long day this brand new baby boy is growing and growing fast. and somewhere in that day i've showered a few times. cooked dinner a few times. slept for a few minutes...
let's talk about that.
let's talk about how i'm so tired that tears could squeeze right out of my eyes. and they do and they have. over silly things. and who's body is this anyway?!! i realize that it's been only twenty eight (one jumbo) day since that new bundle was scrunched up inside this belly, but come on! really?! and what was i wearing before him? cause i sure don't have any clothes to wear now. wanna know about how i'm impatient and grouchy, too?
let's talk about how i've decided that i'm not very good at being organized and having a schedule. how i'm not really sure that i ever wanted to be either of those things before baby number two's arrival. that before i welcomed the madness but i've since realized that being organized and following a schedule is going to be a mere means of survival.
let's talk about lucas. how he's all of a sudden gigantic. how he turned from baby to big boy overnight. how changing that big boy's diapers has got to end! soon! how i have to remind myself to be patient with him and remember that only twenty eight days ago i still carried him on my hip and how now he has to run. and run fast and how maybe he just. doesn't. want. to. let's talk about how i miss him. how i miss being his best friend. a secret club. a secret club with time for big huge snuggles. and puzzles. and storytelling.
wanna talk about my husband? oh yeah. him. how he's exhausted, too. how he's got a new list of chores and how i'm not the easiest person to live with at the moment. and how i've come to realize (since baby number two) that i probably never really was. how he hasn't noticed that i'm not getting up with him in the morning lately because i never really have. and does he even have time to sit on the couch and soak in this new bundle of boy we've got? uh. i don't think so! (refer to the chore list i mentioned above)
let's talk about this guy. this gavin west who is only twenty eight days old. how he's turned our world upside down and inside out. yet all he does is sleep and eat and let you cuddle and kiss his cheeks. how i love him so and could go on and on and on and probably will about how sweet he is. how he maybe smiled and how lucas is sure that he spoke to him today. how i could sit on my couch all day, boppy + baby and watch him sleep snuggled up in my arm. my new little nursling.
and then i can see why. why some women do this again and again and again...