I can not help it. Every time I go Pacific Edge or Planet Granite or Ironworks, I inevitably spin a hold. I'm thrown off the wall and splatter onto the pads below the bouldering or the rope cinches on my waist and I smash into the wall. I blame the plastic. Slopers are slimy, crimps too small, and the over sized handle bars have nothing to hold onto. In the rare instance that I can grapple one of these Metolious branded pieces of shit, the rig cartwheels on me and BAM! I'm off.
It was with some trepidation that I met Drew at Ironworks this morning. I wanted to bail. My forearms burned from climbing the day before. My ropes needed to be cut, haulbags cleaned, my clothes desperately needed a bath. But I went.
Drew "The Iceman" rolled up to the gym on his Ducati, flipped off the low growl of the motor, and busted out his brand new rock boots. He only climbs at the gym "Once a week." Right. After flailing on some of the "easy" problems, I walked over to the wave, the steep convex portion of the bouldering wall, where the Iceman was hiking. Drew dispensed with a couple "casual" problems and poured himself a cup of coffee from his super heated thermos. His girlfriend had just crushed her medical boards the day before and Drew entertained a life as a stay at home man, raising their 2.1 children in their baller home in Berkeley.
"I could just stay home. Man I'd get sick at climbing." I nodded and continue to flail on his "warmup". My lady friend is down too. How cool is that?"
A jealous smile creased my lips. "Did you back step here? Is this v5 hard?"
"No, dude, it's like V3. "
And then with a bunch of beta from the Iceman, I fired a v5. Then I fired another v5. Then I flashed a v4. My greatest gym climbing session ever! I was ready to retire. No spun holds, no dealing with douche bags (other than myself and the Iceman) and serious cranking.
Yeah, so this post seems asinine but I'll end it with an important piece of information just for you:
I'm kind of a Big Deal.
Clipping the Chains
"Don't fall clipping the chains. Study Hard." Rob's text reached me just as I drifted from reading about Adverse Selection and Moral Hazard and started staring at pictures of the West Face of Leaning Tower. For the past four years, I've had a strong push and pull in my life. I struggle with school and my goals as a human and climbing and my desires as a monkey. My balance is always off and I teeter towards the latter side, doing far less than what I am capabale of. Sad. Sad. Sad. Another mind wasted in futile attempts to conquer the useless. But it's important to me. Fufilling my worthless goals.
This morning, Lucho called me. I knew why right away but pretended I didn't.
"So, I've got some shit for you at my brother's house in Berkeley. When are you coming back to town?"
"Oh, I've got to work on Tuesday so I'm gonna wrap stuff up here, hang for a little bit, then bounce back to the city."
I paused for a moment. Should I ask? He hadn't offered. He wouldn't have called if he didn't want to spray though.
"So, were are you?"
"Chili and I are on the Block on top of the FreeRider. We're gonna rap."
"You mean you're bailing?" Fuck I hoped not. Lucho's been wanting to free climb El Cap for awhile. I wanted him to accomplish his worthless goal.
"No. We're cleaning up our stuff on the way down."
"So," I was anxious. What the fuck? Lucho's false modesty was aggravating. "Did you send?"
"I fell once on the 5.12 traverse. But then fired."
Fucking Lucho. What a hard man. He spent the past three weeks trying to free El Cap, plus a trip up earlier last year, another trip with me a few weeks before, and who knows how many hours punching the clown, staring at the topo of the FreeRider. I suppose it's useless that he sent the Freerider. He won't get a better job. Or be a better person. He'll just be Lucho. Still I'm jealous. Suddenly I want to study less. Climb more. Get stronger. The pull to climb all the time is overwhelming and I'm struggling to study at all. What'd Rob say? It had to do with climbing...yeah climbing...
This morning, Lucho called me. I knew why right away but pretended I didn't.
"So, I've got some shit for you at my brother's house in Berkeley. When are you coming back to town?"
"Oh, I've got to work on Tuesday so I'm gonna wrap stuff up here, hang for a little bit, then bounce back to the city."
I paused for a moment. Should I ask? He hadn't offered. He wouldn't have called if he didn't want to spray though.
"So, were are you?"
"Chili and I are on the Block on top of the FreeRider. We're gonna rap."
"You mean you're bailing?" Fuck I hoped not. Lucho's been wanting to free climb El Cap for awhile. I wanted him to accomplish his worthless goal.
"No. We're cleaning up our stuff on the way down."
"So," I was anxious. What the fuck? Lucho's false modesty was aggravating. "Did you send?"
"I fell once on the 5.12 traverse. But then fired."
Fucking Lucho. What a hard man. He spent the past three weeks trying to free El Cap, plus a trip up earlier last year, another trip with me a few weeks before, and who knows how many hours punching the clown, staring at the topo of the FreeRider. I suppose it's useless that he sent the Freerider. He won't get a better job. Or be a better person. He'll just be Lucho. Still I'm jealous. Suddenly I want to study less. Climb more. Get stronger. The pull to climb all the time is overwhelming and I'm struggling to study at all. What'd Rob say? It had to do with climbing...yeah climbing...
Ape Index
Three Years ago, Robert Filpi, a M.D. with Valley Radiologists Medical Group Inc. wrote me a letter as a follow-up to my lumbar spine fracture and fixation. After taking five views of my lower back he found "Lumbar are in normal alignment. There is a slight loss of height in the L4 vertebral body. A pedicle screw fixqtion has been performed from the level of L3 to the level of L5. There is slight anterior loss of height of the T12 vertebral body as well. Some loss of height of the the T11-12 interspace. An inferior vena cava filter is noted in place." While most of that sounds like doctoral gibberish a few sections are notable. In three different spots I have experienced a "loss of height."
I verified my shortening earlier today at the Berkeley Iron Works gym. On the wall by the bathroom is a place where you can measure your height, ape index, and then record the data. I did so. Before I cratered I was 5'9" and now I am 5'8". I am an inch closer to my grave.
My arm span was 71 inches, which means I have a plus three ape index. I found this rather reassuring. After I cratered three pins were placed in my left arm and then removed six months later. My arm does not straighten completely, yet I still have a positive reach. Very nice!
On another note entirely, I am momentarily lost. On Thursday, Lord willing, I will finish school at UCSC and be free to lurk wherever I want. Unfortunately, I'll also be broke. I can probably float for a couple weeks but will have to get a job pretty quickly. I'm not sure where to move. Lately, I've been thinking about Leavenworth Washington. A couple buddies of mine have a house there and I can leach off of them, smoking their resin, and eating their peanut butter & jelly for a solid month or so. I'll be close to Squamish and I even know a couple girls up there...all very tempting reasons to head north. The doppelganger wants me to live with him in Berkeley though. I like living with my brother, espescially since he's making a lot of money and doesn't mind buying me dinner at Tuk Tuk Thai or taking me to the movies and sponsoring me. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do. I need to put lipstick on my head just to make-up my mind.
I verified my shortening earlier today at the Berkeley Iron Works gym. On the wall by the bathroom is a place where you can measure your height, ape index, and then record the data. I did so. Before I cratered I was 5'9" and now I am 5'8". I am an inch closer to my grave.
My arm span was 71 inches, which means I have a plus three ape index. I found this rather reassuring. After I cratered three pins were placed in my left arm and then removed six months later. My arm does not straighten completely, yet I still have a positive reach. Very nice!
On another note entirely, I am momentarily lost. On Thursday, Lord willing, I will finish school at UCSC and be free to lurk wherever I want. Unfortunately, I'll also be broke. I can probably float for a couple weeks but will have to get a job pretty quickly. I'm not sure where to move. Lately, I've been thinking about Leavenworth Washington. A couple buddies of mine have a house there and I can leach off of them, smoking their resin, and eating their peanut butter & jelly for a solid month or so. I'll be close to Squamish and I even know a couple girls up there...all very tempting reasons to head north. The doppelganger wants me to live with him in Berkeley though. I like living with my brother, espescially since he's making a lot of money and doesn't mind buying me dinner at Tuk Tuk Thai or taking me to the movies and sponsoring me. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do. I need to put lipstick on my head just to make-up my mind.
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